well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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