just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
