You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
That's when you crack a 10am beer
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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