Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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