My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
