Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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