critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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