He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
