I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
