Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
this just has baby written all over it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
