Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize