I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
