u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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