The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
