i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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