Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
