Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
