One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize