I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Don't EVER smell your tampon
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
