I'm drive I can fine osifer
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My feet surprised me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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