You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
