Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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