I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
