he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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