Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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