Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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