This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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