Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
