Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
