i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize