Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
should my penis look like a turkey
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
