how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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