Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Randomize
