It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize