I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i barfeds in our rink
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
