we have officially lost it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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