you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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