Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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