worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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