Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
