We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
then he tried to convert me to islam
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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