what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
There's always time for handjobs
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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