Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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