The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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