i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
