He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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