VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
