let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Let's get the cat blown out
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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