I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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