This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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