the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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