He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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