I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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