I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
