Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
sex in a hospital.. check
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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