these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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