went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize