Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize