I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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