Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize